One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair.  There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person.  Stumpy looks to Martha and says, " Martha, I think I really should try that."   Martha replies, " I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10."   So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money.

Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, " Martha, I'm 70 now, and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane."   Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down.  The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation...

The pilot pipes up, " Excuse me folks, I couldn't help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you.  I'll take both of you up together, and if you can both make the entire trip without saying a word, or even making the slightest sound, I'll give the ride for free.  But if either of you make a sound, its $10 each." Well, Martha and Stumpy look at each other, and agree to take the ride.

The pilot takes them up, and starts to do loop de loops, twists, dives, climbs and spins.  No sound. The pilot lands the plane, looks back at Stumpy and says, " Sir, I have to hand it to ya, you didn't make even the slightest sound and that was my best stuff."   Stumpy looks back at the pilot and says, " Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but $10 is $10!"

Joke from lotsofjokes.com

I just had a dream about it

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, " I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

" You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled " The meaning of dreams" .

I'm sending out some cards

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing " Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, " I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

" But why?" asks the man.

" I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.


Jokes taken from http://www.ahajokes.com/scard.html